Yeah right the title doesn’t sound like a woman on her 27 laps around the sun because people assumed that you got your shit together in the romance department after 25, mateeeee… nope. I do have all the choice not to talk about this and yet again, I still decided to make this very post. Just because…
We all have to agree that we are very blessed in this era, where we could meet anyone from anywhere around us, right where are, in the comfort of our coach, regardless our intentions..
The technology has made our lives easier in almost every way, even meeting people to date. Back on our gramma’s era this possibility was nearly impossible, because we all know two generations ahead of us were busy serving the nation in a war, and not busy swiping their fingers over some hot strangers photo they saw online, right?
So when it comes to dating, the technology somehow made it more difficult. Truth is people spend less time with others that they know in personal way, like, they are more passive towards them, and they ended up investing their times to seek a validation from strangers. The difference of energy people willing to spend on both things are worrying and unrealistic.
I’d be lying if I don’t use tinder for fun. I discovered it by accident, and use it voluntarily. I’d be putting my best pictures on my best angles just for them to tell me how good I am based on it, so it feed my ego that guys find me desirable. You could determine the quality of the conversation as fast as 5 minutes texting, or even less. And honestly I could easily differentiate those whose actually giving me an honest compliment and those who was tryna sweet talk to get into my pants within those first couple mins of talk.
I remember the guys in my class kinda slut-shaming me, giving me the ‘look’ and weird tones of speaking when they found my profile on that online dating apps as if I was a hooker. For the records, I never actually put on some vulgar pics whatever on it, my profile was pretty normal. So I was smiling and said ‘and so?’
First of all, how did they even found me if they weren’t actually in there themselves? and then again they think it’s okay for them to be on the apps for whatever reasons and judged me for being there? you gotta be kidding me mate. Should I let them know I was in it because I was initially looking for Brandon’s profile? ofc not, they wouldn’t even care.
Also with the rise of online dating, relationship is not sacred anymore. I swear. Why? Because we are operating in the wake of a massive societal change. Marriage is more to a status. If you noticed, the institution of marriage is crumbling before our eyes. These days people value and choose the freedom for their own self before anything. The modern generations are very aware that they can really choose to get married, be polygamous, hook up, or live with/date the partner, the boyfriend or girlfriend. And if things didn’t work out like they planned it to be, both party involved are very much replaceable in a matter of swipes!!
That makes a heartbreak become a rare occasion these days, because I swear it’s very little number of people who put the work and their heart out in it like the good old days. My generations worshipping the no strings attached.. which for a hopeless romantic like me is a devastating reality.
And as time goes by, talking and meeting people from the apps, I knew it all along that it didn’t actually match my personality. Mate, I can’t be out there in the market and fuck everyone just like that. I just can’t.
I’m identified as demisexual. What is it? According to the dictionary, demisexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by only experiencing sexual attraction after making a strong emotional connection with a specific person.
I have to say, I have a very complicated taste in men, I like who I like and I can’t even explain it to myself, let alone to you. But one thing for sure that if we’re not emotionally connected, I assure you that there is nothing I would pursue. Because that’s like the core I hold on to and a real deal breaker.
I’d be lying if my eyes didn’t get excited when I saw a hot, hot guy walking, or didn’t immediately feel the urge to swipe right on him, but that is it. Like, if the guy is physically attractive, mate good for him, but if that’s the only thing he brings to the table, then I’m out. I spent time reading the bio and assessing their pictures, because we, (I believe) every individuals, have a radar on our heads and the guts that told us to swipe left all along when it didn’t looked right or if we could swipe right and try.
I mean I dated two guys in a long term relationships who were nearly perfect, too good to be true kind of guys in so many ways. And I vowed not to date anyone less than that because I deserved better. I mean, those guys set the bar pretty high and I was once kinda worried no one will top them. But then I realized that I have my own unique quality that if the guy sees it thoroughly, he would understand how to treat me.
I swear I’m that kind of girl that if you love me 100% I would love you 110% and even if you do me wrong I will still find an excuse in my head and narrate all the good things you did to me so that I only remember the good memories we had, because I really couldn’t afford to have all the hate for people, not to those I once cared the most.
I have a confession to make, I downloaded and delete my online dating profile every now and then, I be on it or delete it whenever I feel like it, out of boredom. I’m surprised that boredom is the right and appropriate word that is applicable on both situation.
I want a guy that is up for movie date be it in a cinema, or just Netflix, who is fine putting some face mask on with me to hydrate our face, so we both glow. Who is up for an impromptu holiday regardless our financial state, because we could always help each other’s. Who is able to be honest with me whenever, whatever it is.
So in terms of dating; been there done that. I just want a gentleman, that stand up for himself yet he listened to the partner, engaging with me emotionally every step of the way and also into the same thing with me, like we are the most socially anti social people, who loves being out and about around people but enjoy things on our own.
Just don’t be surprised if you see me be halal once I’m back to Sydney, and coming to the mosque to ask the imam for a potential husband to marry instead of the conventional dating ways and next thing you know I’ll be married.
Ofc I’m joking, I would not do that. I can’t even imagine…