Heal…

Brandon and I broke up for years. We dated for about 2,5years. As we all know, it ended up very messy, but I still managed to hold my shit together.

Break up after break up, my heart almost resistance to it. What can I say . .

Brandon deliberately blocked me on facebook following the scandal but surprisingly remained as a professional friends on linked in.

He is still following me on instagram, and I keep him there for one reason; to see me doing just fine in life after him. I really hold no grudges or anything towards him.

Brandon texted me on november last year that he wanted to see me, telling me that our relationship was never reached it’s full potential. Which leave me with a big fat question marks. I mean, I wasn’t the one ruined it, so . . .

Brandon told me he got a girlfriend that time! Which was a very confusing movement to text an ex (me) and telling shit.

Help me to understand my timeline in his life. I was the girlfriend, now ex, and I can’t be the side chick next . . . for the love of humanity and girls supporting girls, I won’t do that.

But Brandon insisted he wanted to see me and even asked for the exact 10 weeks holiday plan I had to the middle east. I mean, that was probably my fault to tell him I was going on holiday. Anyway, then I sent him the last leg of the 10 weeks holiday so if he really wanted to see me he could just fly his ass to Dubai. And he actually agreed to fly himself to Dubai.

I mean, I had mixed feelings towards it. I don’t think I ever stop loving him, regardless what happened to us. I always wanted and wished him the best. With a hope that if he’s getting the best he would stop messing around anyone’s mind and life.

Honestly, if there would be a chance to see him again, I just wanted to heal, completely. He was my traumatic experience and I need to end it.

My healing idea was asking him why he did what he did and look into his eyes while he answer my question… I most definitely will cry, but that pain and void in my chest would be very satisfied to finished it in person.

Cause I know eyes won’t lies…

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